I find myself thinking about this phrase recently – it’s been coming up a lot. However it’s not coming up in the “regular” sense – I’m using it a lot, but I’m not apologizing for actions/words. I’m using it as an acknowledgement and an honoring of what the other person is saying/going through. Here’s the definition by Webster https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sorry
Being a highly intuitive person, I have a sense of how things are beyond what may appear at the surface. I know what’s “underneath”, “beyond”, “hidden” etcetera. That means that I’m aware of things others may not be aware of. One of my challenges is that I don’t think that others don’t “know” what I “know”……. it takes conscious remembering on my end to realize that what’s apparent to me is not necessarily that way to someone else. Then when what was “hidden” comes to the surface and is right there for everyone to see – I say “I’m sorry”………… I’m sorry I was right / I’m sorry that it’s uncomfortable / I’m sorry you didn’t see this coming / I’m sorry it feels that way / I’m sorry it is this way.
I’m not apologizing for any of it – but it’s a heart-felt acknowledgement that what the other person is experiencing at that moment is unsettling and uncomfortable. It appears that sometimes people do not hear that; they think I’m apologizing and they don’t want me to (because it’s clear I haven’t done anything “wrong”). Maybe because people are raised to say they are sorry (when in reality maybe they’re not?) from childhood on. And in that context it is all about having done something “wrong”.
It’s an interesting dynamic and I wonder if it’s related to language differences – English being my 2nd language – hence maybe I use it differently. Communication is such an intriguing topic – and words can often get in the way of what we’re really trying to convey.I always aim for clarity in communication – there’s so much mis-understanding between people based on words. In my sessions with people I do the same thing; always aiming for clarity and congruency.
I hope I’m communicating this clearly! ♥
